Short Review: Star Trek: Into Darkness

Oh my god, where do I begin? I am at a complete loss for words here. I mean, this film... it was just amazing...ly horrible. The terrible plot, the numerous inconsistencies, the historical villain turned side character, the boyfriend issues (again?) the mutha fucking Trans-Warp Engine!!!

How do I begin when there are just so many things wrong with this film to even suggest that it be called "Star Trek"? Well, I guess I'll try to stay on track and list the problems where I found them. I promise to be brief, because this is of course, a short review...

1. The Enterprise is NOT a submarine. No matter how much J.J. Abrams wants to believe it is. Spaceships and Submarines are built differently for two very big reasons. Space does not have water, and spaceships aren't built to withstand the depths of an ocean.
2. Again, we live in an alternate universe where Starfleet is clearly a defenseless entity of the Federation, due to the fact that though more militarized, it still cannot defend it's own officers from a surprise enemy attack (i.e. Godfather: Part III massacre).
3. Harrison/Khan is able to transport himself from Earth to Qo'noS (again, NOT Kronos), by using Scotty's Trans-Warp device, thus making starships ineffective, logic seem worthless and the story plot just a little more idiotic.
4. Admiral Marcus, if you're going to build a completely secret starship made solely for war, please be a little bit smarter and take that fucking model off your desk. It can't be a secret starship if you have a model displayed in the open!
5. Remember a quote from Enterprise? "Four days there, four days back." Well, apparently time does not matter in Abrams' Trek, because they're able to reach Qo'noS in under a few hours. And then make it back to Earth in even less time! Ridiculous!
6. In less than a year of Vulcan's destruction, Admiral Marcus was able to find Khan, force him to work for Section 31, build a massive "secret" shipyard in a high space-traffic area, build the largest starship in the history of the Federation and plan for a war with the Klingons. Abrams' Logic at it's very best, ladies and gentlemen.
7. After dropping out of warp over Earth's moon, both the Enterprise and Vengeance only remain adrift for several minutes until they are both suddenly pulled into Earth's orbit, you know... because the Earth and it's Moon are so fucking close.
8. Again, why does the entire engineering section --including the warp core-- look and feel like some 21st century brewery? I mean, seriously, it's a starship, not some industrial warehouse! It's just too huge to fit in a ship that size, Mr. Abrams.
9. One of my second biggest gripes; Khan crashes his ship into the heart of San Francisco, yet one year later Kirk's only going on about the lost of his own personal crew. Tens of thousands died in the buildings Khan destroyed, yet Kirk's crew gets a memorial?
10. Finally; Every single detail in the scene between Kirk and Spock after the events of the battle between the Enterprise and Vengeance is the exact same as in "Wrath of Khan", only in reverse. This is so bad that not is it only NOT an homage to WoK, but it is an insult to movie goers who put their trust in terrible writing. It was just... bad.

So that's it. That's my take on "Into Darkness". I'm sure I'll have a slew of other complaints to be made available some time in the near future. Maybe I need to watch it more, so I can better attack it's low points which I promise there are many. In any case, if this is an indication as to how bad a series Abrams can make Star Trek, then I have nothing but fear for whatever lies ahead for Star Wars.

EDIT: Update - (added 11/9/2016) Sooooo, yeah. Abrams made The Force Awakens a mirror image of A New Hope... he did that, it happened, I wasn't surprised... oh well.